Numbed Spirit!

I was in Mumbai this last week. Had reached the mighty city, along side the terrorists (or so my friends said.) When at first I heard about the terror attack I didn't even react. I was getting frantic calls through out the night and the next day from worried loved ones who knew I was in the city but well I was actually numb. No anger the way I had felt in "Delhi cries" http://astutalks.blogspot.com/2008/09/delhi-cries.html", or fear... No feelings whatsoever to tell you the truth... And that was what scared me.

Since then I have read & seen hundreds of reports on "what happened?"! I have tried to follow people's discussions on "who did it??"! And read emails after emails petitioning people to wake up! But I seem to have gone into a deep slumber. It's as if it's not happening to me... I am in a daze almost like I am seeing everything like a fish looking at humans outside an aquarium. And this for sure scares me!

I read some really amazing writeups about the "Mumbai Spirit" and how the people are simply untouched by what happens... Actually 24 hours after the supposed worst terror attack on the country, I was actually there to see the city go back to normal. It stunned me to think about the 'Mumbai Spirit'! I was left wondering if it's awesome that they can get out of it so soon or awful that they forget so fast!!! And yes this supposed food for thought scared the shit out of me...

I am but a common man who's scared... Who wants to do something but doesn't know how... Who would simply like to sit inside her cosy home and point fingers at someone else whose not doing their job... I know I am lazy, scared and hard to please but I am your average Indian.

It's scary to think... But Jaipur... Bangalore... Ahemdabad... Assam... Delhi and Mumbai... I wonder where next will this heat hit! And when would we not be as vulnerable to the whole thing and be able to start feeling something more...!

Me the Ultimate Pessimist!

One post in October... and no posts in November I know I haven't been around like forever! Have just had too many things to deal with, nothing to write about and hazaaron khwahishein aisi... but well excuses or no excuses I promise I'll try to be more regular now...

It's days like today when I have had my Happy pill that I agree with anyone saying "Life is sure worth living"! It's not too often that I'm in the mood for optimism. You see, for sometime now, I have been tagged as the "Ultimate Pessimist" by most people who know me! They love me too much to ever say it to my face, but I can see it in their eyes, in their worried look and oh-so-casual calls. They are worried that I might just catch the pessimistic fever forever, quite naturally; from the way I have been behaving.

I wait to add a "But" after I hear a good news or just wait for the other coin to drop when something good happens to me.... I don't smile as much, don't love as deeply or behave as madly! I am falling a second to what i used to be! And why i wonder...! It's not like something on the outside has changed. Nothing drastic has happened in my life to kill my joy or enthusiasm; Neither I nor anyone close to me (God forbid!) has really died or had a near death experience. But something seems amiss!

I am going through a period professionally that could not be called as anything but "happening"! The best of oppurtunities is coming my way. Personally I haven't fought with my hubby in a long time (quite a miracle in it's own making). My family is the most supportive and my friends are very attentive. But (and there always is a but) life isn't something I am looking forward to!

I mean No lands to conquer! No goals to Achieve!! No passions to Kinder!!! It's just a day that goes on and on without any special moments to remember! Ok the optimism seems to be deserting me... So I am going to try to add a pinch of happiness in my tone, I really am bored with being myself, so I truly feel sorry for the people who deal with me and my moods on a daily basis... I would love to be the person writing the post starting with...

"Dance as though no one is watching you.
Sing as though no one can hear you.
Love as though you have never been hurt before.
Live as though heaven in on earth!"

But for now I am signimg off as...

Yours truly,
"The Ultimate Pessimist"

Love Vs Marriage

I read it, and loved it... Married ppl will sure appreciate the wry humor more. It's amazing how acurate some of this is!

Love is holding hands in the street.
Marriage is holding arguments in the street.

Love is dinner for 2 in your favorite restaurant.
Marriage is a take home packet.

Love is cuddling on a sofa.
Marriage is one of them sleeping on a sofa.

Love is talking about having children.
Marriage is talking about getting away from children.

Love is going to bed early.
Marriage is going to sleep early.

Love is a romantic drive.
Marriage is arrive on tops curvy tarmac .

Love is losing your appetite.
Marriage is losing your figure.

Love is sweet nothing in the ear.
Marriage is sweet nothing in the bank.

TV has no place in love.
Marriage is a fight for remote control.

Love is 1 drink and 2 straws.
Marriage is "Don't you think you've had enough!".

Conclusion: "Love is blind, And Marriage is an eye opener!"

Men can be cute "if" they set their mind on it!

I have been told time and again that I shud become more positive in my outlook towards men... Hey I don't hate men. No I don't. How can I when I have a gr8 hubby, an adorable brother and a wonderful father, not to forget all my close guy-friends who have seen me through it all.

It's just that Its a rare day when men in general, do something so cute that you have to turn and say "Awwwww"... So its not really my fault when I don't put them up on a pedestal right??? :)

Anyway I really lurved this video and wanted 2 share it with u... Why am I bringing a video up in between my post huh? You'll see... It really is sumthing that touches my heart. And I am sure I am talking in behalf of all women when I say : "Men please learn some tips..." Women continue looking for those supposed men out ther... I have been told that "chivalry" is not really out of style yet!

Guys... you listening??? :)

Women love being in love. More often than not; they are in love with the feeling and not with the person it’s generated for!

I wrote this post, as a guest author for a blog-friend. But couldn't stop myself from posting it!

I am a woman and proud of it! I am not saying all women are like me, just that there are a-lot-of-women out there who really are like me, and would agree with the statement!!! (Do you think its a little harsh to say this when poets all around the world write such beautiful poems on love? Do you think I am only saying this because I am not a romantic?) Some facts: Pisces, Happily-married and not jilted, I really believe that "the most important relationship in your life is with yourself!"; So seriously you are not dealing with a lunatic here!:)

Before I go any further, let me just say- Hey this is not a critical article on women; oh no! I am too much of a feminist to ever do that!!! It's just an attempt to make men understand the complex-psyche of ours: The 'wow!'men. (Please note the exclamation mark!)

Ok, there's no doubt about it, women are complex creatures who can make themselves believe whatever they want to, when they set their mind on it! Be it their oh-so-lovely dress, much-needed make-over, their purrrrfect lurvvve or Awww-so-adorable babies! Don't the adjective just needs to be there..? How can we live without the interesting exclamations in life!!? It's like a breath of fresh air... It's what keeps us going... How can we not work on making our lives interesting? Seriously, don't we all believe that the word "BORING! was just not made for us!!!"

I live in this make believe world of hopes and dreams that are just slightly out of my reach. No matter how hard I try I can't seem to get there! But ask me if I would ever own up to it? And my immediate answer will be "Nope!" I believe I am not extraordinary... I believe most women like me think the same way... they might not decide to write about it... But deep down they believe it too!!! So going back to the original statement of the post... "Women love being in love. More often than not; they are in love with the feeling and not with the person it’s generated for!"

I believe:

"She’ll be the first to know the imperfections in her relations but will ignore it. She’ll believe anything he says; knowing he doesn’t mean a word. She’ll do anything for him; knowing he might never do a thing in return. She’ll bleed, she’ll lie, she’ll cry just to have him in her arms for a night!" I hate to say it; but that is the real essence of womanhood! Seriously Guys we are not in love with you, just the feeling that you generate in us, when you are around!

Not a romantic... Nor a cynic... I call myself A.S.T.U.T.I. :)

Delhi cries...

13 strikes again... And this time the recipient of the strike was Saadi Dilli!

No, I am not talking about the natural calamities that this nation's facing- the floods, the droughts or the Tsunamis. As if they were not enough, we have a whole separate "Weekend Bombing" trend started in our country! Bangalore, Jaipur, Ahmedabad, Surat and now DELHI! The bombers are having a blast, and quite literally!!!

6:10 pm, 6:30 pm, 6:31 pm & 6:38 pm- It's a half hour which normally would have been fun right? Saturday evening- packing up your week to let the weekend begin, planning on rushing home to change for the Saturday night fever, Look your best and let's move to the music... Everyone happy and looking forward to what's remaining of the weekend?

Now consider this- 6:10 pm, 6:30 pm, 6:31 pm & 6:38 pm- five bomb blasts in the high profile market areas in Delhi city- the capital of the country. 30 dead and 90 injured. Hospital corridors choked. Metros come to a stand still. Traffic jam in the city. Complete chaos. Radio channels informing people of the bomb blasts and asking them to "not panic". Cell phones network clogged! Thousands of callers from other parts of the country, trying to find out if their families or friends living in Delhi are safe or would their last conversation with them, have been their final adieus! Yes! Delhi did cry like a baby- with Complete Helplessness...

"To dreadfully terrorize you this time, by the Will and Help of Almighty Allah we are about to devastate your very first metropolitan centre, your most strategic 'Hindutva hub', your green zone- Yes! It's your own capital." - This was Indian Mujahideen's claim to fame!

What does this statement make you feel? Pride, Love, Religious, Strong-willed or mere contempt? We call ourselves the new generation, who is above things like caste, religion, gender-bias etc. A generation who does not ask someone- "What's your name followed by which caste you belong to?" A generation who is against terrorism and open to accept all humans as equals! So where did we go wrong? How among us was a breed living that still believed in Castes, has religious bias and is making use of terrorism to prove their greatness?

The people they hurt yesterday were innocent shoppers who probably walked out of home for some retail therapy... or just to pick some awesome shoes they saw someone else wearing, not knowing they might not have the feet to wear them on! They are people who had no freaking clue about what was going to hit them! Whose families the government will have some money for... that the nation will forget tomorrow, 'coz the only ones who truly grieve their loss will be their families and friends!

So maybe next time, asking someone "If their weekend was a blast?" might not be such a great idea! What say youngistan?

Save the Best for Last

There are some songs we just love, don't we? I want to share one of my favourite songs and why I simply love the lyrics... It's written by Vanessa Williams and titled "Save the Best for last"

"Sometimes the snow comes down in june

Sometimes the sun goes round the moon

I see the passion in your eyes

Sometimes its all a big surprise

cause there was a time when all I did was wish

You'd tell me this was love

Its not the way I hoped or how I planned

But somehow its enough"

For me this is Passion personified! Quite literally. On one hand is the Unrequited love that the lady has just not given up on and on the other is her untold need for the same which takes her to such an extent that she's ready to compromise and have it, any way she can! Isn't this a classic woman trait? Just what women do. We love completely and when we love it's forever. No matter what the terms!

"And now we're standing face to face

Isn't this world a crazy place

Just when I thought our chance had passed

You go and save the best for last"

Things happen that we never foresee. Things that make us believe in the glory of love and keeps the mystery alive. Just when she had started believing in her unfulfilling love here he comes "her Knight in Shining Armour"... Yes this world really is a crazy place!

"All of the nights you came to me

When some silly girl had set you free

You wondered how you'd make it through

I wondered what was wrong with you"

Like I said- have him in any terms huh? They are not your terms naturally. 'Coz when you love, you loose the upperhand to the one who's being loved. So I am wondering what's wrong with her!

"cause how could you give your love to someone else

And share your dreams with me

Sometimes the very thing you're looking for

Is the one thing you can't see"

This is my favourite line in the whole song. I think it's completely beautiful and explains my sentiments to the "T". Really... how could he give his love to someone else And share his dreams with you?" I think all women should definitely ask themselves this, the next time they are hoping to be in a relationship with someone whose already in another?

"And now were standing face to face

Isn't this world a crazy place

Just when I thought our chance had passed

You go and save the best for last

Sometimes the very thing you're looking for

Is the one thing you cant see

Sometimes the snow comes down in june

Sometimes the sun goes round the moon

Just when I thought our chance had passed

You go and save the best for last

You went and saved the best for last!"

Ok I'm sure you guys are wondering if I really love this song? Actually I do. I love anything that inspires me to think. And this song sure does that; and very beautifully.

Speech by Bryan Dyson (CEO of Coca Cola)

I recently read this and wanted to share it with you...

"Imagine life as a game in which you are juggling some five balls in the air. You name them - work, family, health, friends and spirit and you're keeping all of these in the air. You will soon understand that work is a rubber ball. If you drop it, it will bounce back. But the other four Balls - family, health, friends and spirit - are made of glass. If you drop one of these; they will be irrevocably scuffed, marked, nicked, damaged or even shattered. They will never be the same. You must understand that and strive for Balance in your life."

Rock On! Movie review

I had heard raving reviews of the film before I went ahead and watched it... Both positive and negative ofcourse! There simply was nothing in between...
So I was ready to go watch a passionate film that I'll surely love or just hate. I Lurved it! Completely!!!

The story is about a boy band Magik (yea with a "k"). Four college students, who wanna become rock stars and have a boy-band! It's about how they practise, breath and eat music in their younger years and how they grow up in life to become Investment Banker, Jeweller etc...

Most of us have been there or atleast know someone who's been there and done that!!! I for one, could think of some of my friends back from school who pretty much did the very same things.... So naturally it brought back lovely memories and smiles... :)

The acting is good and all of them have done justice to the film. Farhan Akhtar makes an impressive debut as an actor. Though not as explosive as his directorial debut, his foray into acting works just fine. As Magik’s lead vocalist as well as an investment banker, Farhan is impressive. True to his self he pays a lot of attention to his on stage rock musician act, and comes across quite like one. You can actually see his throat nerves stretched when he's singing in the concert!

There are two significant women characters - Sakshi, as Farhan’s wife (Prachi Desai) and Debbie, Arjun’s wife (Shahana Goswami). Along with Farhan Akhtar, there's is the best performance of the movie. Both are shown to be strong characters. It is interesting to see how one woman manages to play the catalyst in the relationship between the four friends even though she is a new entrant into their lives. And the other almost tears them apart even though she is the one who has been with the band ever since they began. Like I said strong women!

Not surprisingly, one can notice traces of the Farhan Akhtar style of filmmaking, especially in the way male bonding, twisted relationships and complex emotions are handled, and attention is paid to detail ensuring nothing remains disconnected. The reunion scenes among the band members as well as Aditya’s meeting with his ex-girlfriend are particularly treated with intense care. Beautiful I say!

The film has been played at a lot of different levels- laughter (Purab's dance comes to mind), emotions (Farhan not knowing how to react when his wife tells him she's preg), Friendship (some gr8 DCH moments in Goa) and the base of the film Rock Music!

Oh and did I say, I lurved the last line of the film- "Don’t Download the Music , Buy it!” Me thinks It was Kewl!!!

A must watch guys... go grab your tickets now!

Mumbai Meri Jaan…. A review

It was one of those “oh-so-rare” days when both Umang and I were back from work by 6.30 P.M. We decided to catch a movie and man did I love the results of this impulsive decision. :)

Yes I am a gonner and now a committed fan of the director Nishikant Kamat. Seriously there are dialogues and then there are Dialogues… And this movie is filled with them… Some that I recollect very vividly are:
Kay Kay’s remark on “Do you know the difference between Sharon Stone and Kidney Stone?”

Paresh Rawal’s comment many a times in the movie "When you feel like crying, just urinate", adding, "That way you drain the excess water from your body".

And his comment later in the film (after the bomb blasts) where he says “we cant shut the bars; where will the spirit of Mumbai come from!” (Quite a pun I say)

Amidst romance and seeing life through rosy-spectacled films, only once in a while do we come across a movie which strikes a chord with a social theme and is enormously entertaining at the same time. Only once in a while do we come across a movie that has an outstandingly original screenplay and more importantly it connects with the viewer convincingly. Only once in a while do we come across a movie that incites us emotionally and is technically flawless simultaneously. That's Mumbai Meri Jaan to me!!!

There were some technical expertises that I just loved… Brilliant screenplay and even better compositions… For instance right after the scene where they show train blasts, rather than show the date in the original bollywood style Aka as a type written subtitle, the director decides to show us a train bogie number plate “7/11”.

Similarly when Soha Ali’s being asked to give a byte on how she feels (after the death of her fiancé’) the scene shows her reflection on tile which is walked over by the other characters in the film.

Very simple yet very strong, the film makes you look back at what happened and feel for the city.

Much against your predictable perception, the film moves away from any opinionated or political argument on terrorism and traverses a more atomic approach by representing the ordeal of the violence in five individual lives. Each episode runs independent of the other until they are correlated by the train blasts. The parallel tracks beautifully congregate to a common climax.

The writing doesn't resort to any clichés or pre-defined formulae thereby opting for an innovative, unadulterated and gratifying treatment. No song numbers, comedy tracks or romance angles are enforced for commercial considerations. The ending couldn’t have been better, with an All-time-classic song “Yeh hain Mumbai meri jaan”. Cheers, the spirit of Mumbai will always remain intact!

I lurved the movie and recommend it to any serious film appreciators. It’s surely a must watch.

A WOMAN SHOULD HAVE...

Some writeups down the memory lane....

A WOMAN SHOULD HAVE A set of screwdrivers, a cordless drill, and a black lace bra.. A WOMAN SHOULD HAVE...One friend who Always makes her Laugh... And one Who lets her cry...A WOMAN SHOULD HAVE Eight matching plates,Wine glasses with stems, And a recipe for a meal that will Make her guests feel honored.

A WOMAN SHOULD HAVE...A feeling of control over Her destiny...

EVERY WOMAN SHOULD KNOW...How to fall in love Without losing herself...EVERY WOMAN SHOULD KNOW...How to quit a Job, Break up with a lover and confront a friend without ruining the friendship. EVERY WOMAN SHOULD KNOW...When to try harder... and WHEN TO WALK AWAY. EVERY WOMAN SHOULD KNOW...That she can't changeThe length of her calves,The width of her hips, or The nature of her parents...EVERY WOMAN SHOULD KNOW...That her childhood May not have been Perfect..but;Its over...EVERY WOMAN SHOULD KNOW...What she would and Wouldn't Do for love or more...EVERY WOMAN SHOULD KNOW...How to live alone...even if She doesn't like it...EVERY WOMAN SHOULD KNOW...Whom she can trust, Whom she can't, And why she shouldn't Take it personally...EVERY WOMAN SHOULD KNOW...Where to go When her soul needs soothing...Be it to her best friend's kitchen table..Or a charming inn in the woods...!

EVERY WOMAN SHOULD KNOW...What she can and can't accomplish

In a day... A month.. And a year...

Men Are Just Happier People...:)

What do you expect from such simple creatures? Your last name stays put. The garage is all yours. Wedding plans take care of themselves. Chocolate is just another snack. You can be President. You can never be pregnant. You can wear a white T-shirt to a water park. You can wear NO shirt to a water park.

Car mechanics tell you the truth.. The world is your urinal. You never have to drive to another gas station rest-room because this one is just too icky. You don't have to stop and think of which way to turn a nut on a bolt. Same work, more pay. Wrinkles add character. Wedding dress Rs. 5000. People never stare at your chest when you're talking to them. New shoes don't cut, blister, or mangle your feet. One mood all the time. Phone conversations are over in 30 seconds flat. You know stuff about tanks. A five-day vacation requires only one suitcase. You can open all your own jars. You get extra credit for the slightest act of thoughtfulness.

If someone forgets to invite you, he or she can still be your friend. Three pairs of shoes are more than enough. You almost never have strap problems in public. You are unable to see wrinkles in your clothes. Everything on your face stays its original color. The same hairstyle lasts for years, maybe decades.You only have to shave your face and neck.You can play with toys all your life. Your belly usually hides your big hips. One wallet and one pair of shoes -- one color for all seasons. You can wear shorts no matter how your legs look. You can "do" your nails with a pocket knife. You have freedom of choice concerning growing a mustache. You can do Christmas shopping for 25 relatives on December 24 in 25 minutes.

Phewww..... No wonder men are happier. :)

Getting perspective

I read this article somewhere and wanted to share it with all of you...

No matter what difficulties you encounter, you can benefit from clearing your mind so that your true inner voice is revealed. There are several ways of gaining this focus, including physical exercise, meditation, breathing exercises, yoga, and others. The exercise below involves a more active form of mediation that will quickly clear out the noise in your head to leave you with a knowingness that can guide you to right action in your relationships and throughout your life.

Step 1:Get yourself in a comfortable sitting position.

Step 2:Picture a chord that goes around your waist and into the center of the earth. This is your grounding chord. Feel the weight of it pull you down into the earth, so that you are connected to it.

Step 3:Picture green light coming from the earth — the earth's energy, moving slowly from your feet, to your knees, and finally arriving at your stomach. Imagine that it starts a swirling motion in your center.

Step 4:Now picture white light coming from above, shining down on you and moving through the crown of your head, to your shoulders, flowing down your arms and also down your spine and to your stomach, where it mixes with the green light you brought up from the earth.

Step 5:Imagine a flow of light moving down the grounding chord and into the earth, and let it carry away all the things you are worried about, all the conflicts you have. Picture them in full life form and then watch as they wash away in the flood of light that leaves your body.

Step 6:Once you have done this for some time, picture the rest of the light from your stomach moving up to leave through the crown of your head, finishing the clearing of your energy. That means you can stop drawing in light or energy from the earth and from above you.

Step 7:Sit in quiet relaxation for a few minutes, noting what it is like to be in a body that is clear and a mind that is without worries and anxiety. If worries come back at you, just note that they are there, and watch as they flow right past you without bothering you a bit.

Step 8:Now you are ready to look at whatever issue you are dealing with, or to attend to any
questions you might have.

For example, if you are not sure about the person you are with, ask yourself: Are they right for you? Is this relationship having a positive effect on your life? Is this person being fair? Are you? This is the time to ask yourself all the questions that have been creating tension for you. Sit patiently and wait as your higher self tells you the answers.

Spiritually Speaking…

How many times have you felt a sense of complete despair? How many times do you feel your life’s not going anywhere and that some direction would be appreciated? How many times do you feel a need for Supreme intervention?
Remember, when the world pushes you to your knees, you're in the perfect position to pray…

Before I move on, I would like to warn anyone who does not believe in God, to not go any further. This piece of work, kind sire’, was not written for you. So please go ahead and find some thing else to read, No offense taken!

I am a strong believer. I believe there is a Supreme Being out there, who takes care of all of us. Who’s stronger than any of us; and looking at the things we do. I have a superstitious belief that he’ll know when I am being bad. I know you think it’s just my “Conscience”! But it’s not my conscience alone, believe me you- it’s far more than that. When I am doing “Something I shouldn’t be doing”; my conscience is supposed to make me feel guilty right? But then when events happen that wouldn’t have happened otherwise, you have to believe there is someone taking account of what you’re doing.

I don’t say everything we do is controlled by this someone. There obviously is a system of “Free Will”; but just as certainly there is, what I call the control system. Metaphorically speaking, we are like a cow tied to a tree by a rope, and can go just about anywhere till the rope permits; but only till that. The ultimate control is with someone else. So he’ll allow you to make your mistakes, but will not allow you to go way beyond what’s in your destiny.

So the question I'm getting at is, if he controls what I do and knows what I’m meant to do, why can’t he make life easier for me and show me the way when I am feeling a sense of despair…. When will he lead me on to "my" direction? When will he really intervene?

Stranger things have happened- Inspirational

A friend of mine sent this song for me to listen to; and it immediately became my new favourite… Ofcourse it's “Stranger Things Have Happened” by Foo Fighters.

I just love the lines in this song… Some of them are “I’m breathing in the silence like never before”…. It’s an emotion that’s so beautiful you can’t help but identify with it…

“I’m not alone dear loneliness” “Dear Loneliness?” Wow! Isn’t that a lovely use of Irony? It inspires me to speak to my feelings. I wonder if it does the same to you.

“I can change, I can change, I can change, but who do you want me to be?” How many times have I felt this…? Yes I can change, but change into what? And if I am like others who will be like me?

Like I said before I really did love this song. As self obsessed as I am about my feelings, my likes and myself in general, I can’t help but think, is this what life has in store for us?

WORDS RULE!!!

One of the paragraphs I wrote almost 4 yrs back... But it's still close to my heart! read on...

"Words are the most twisted art I know… and I love it! Not surprisingly, I am a copywriter. As a writer, I always thought books were interesting reading for the end of the week. I respect the discipline and persistence it takes to create long works like novels and screenplays even though I have no desire to write anything longer than a brochure. Advertising copywriting suits me perfectly. However, I was struck by certain similarities-Both a great ad and a great book starts with a great idea. Both are written without pondering to a hidden market. Both must be fundamentally believable and faithful to the concept. And neither has a place for cynicism. It’s amazing what both can do the reader… They can influence there moods, thoughts and even behavior.

There’s a ton of creative concepts just waiting 2 hit the shop, check them now… check again later, ‘coz we aim 2 cr8 chaos in the world of words! Hmmm complete chaos is the hidden agenda!!!"

Operation Wellness!

I have always wondered what the right answer is when someone asks you “how are you?”… The question that’s so often asked by one and all…! Is it, “I am great” (of course I’m not telling you about the hundreds of pains, headaches or body aches, nor am I going to tell that I have not exercised in forever)? Or is it, “Everything’s fine (I hate my life, my job, my relations that aren’t working and my friends who never have the time).
Is it really a rhetorical question to have an auto-piloted answer or a question the answer of which really matters to them?
When someone asks me this now, I really don’t know the answer. Seriously!!!

I’m currently in a situation I call “Contentedly-Goal-less”. One continuous objective which I had had for the last three years was to become an Area Visual Merchandiser, which is now achieved (please refer to my last post :))… What this means is there is nothing that quite gives me the kick, no aim in life to achieve anything, kinda... well, content! Not an easy phase to be in, coz when you have always been “goal-driven” and suddenly become “goal-less” you don’t know what to next focus your attention on! I just know I don’t enjoy it too much…

It’s not like there is nothing in my life that I can make my “next-goal” but there really is nothing that I want badly enough. So I have decided to make a goal for myself- introduce a stage here which I’ll remember as “Operation Wellness”. What is Operation wellness huh? In my mind it is this stage in my life when I need to get things back to shape. My health, My career-interest, My relations, My perspective on life, My priorities; Aka what I want to do at the end of this long life?

Yes this is my new founded goal… Will update on how things are… As of now, I’m glad I have found a goal again!

Area Visual Merchandiser Assessment... 24th & 25th Jan 08

It was 3 PM on 25th Jan 08, we had slogged our guts out for 2 whole days and it was time for them to announce the results... Seven of us competed for the position, only four wer to be chosen they said.
One by one they called people in, Surbhi went she conquered, Soma went and she conquered again, Next they called in Sheetal and Sunita who unfortunately didn't make it... Shilpi was called in 5th and she was made an AVM too...
Two candidates... one position... I was not sure what to think, I was given to believe by all my friends and colleagues that I wud clear for sure, but I knew deep within that I had been too nervous during the interview. My heart beat like never b4. Githi was called in next and when she came out with a smile I was sure I hadn't cleared. The only question in my heart was why the hell did they keep me in the last if I hadn't cleared the assessment? They could have ended my misery sooner...
It was 5 P.M., I had had the most intense two hours of waiting (the closest similie is like a husband waiting for his wife's delivery!). I walked in and Vikram(one of the assessors) was sitting on the seat. He told me I had not cleared the assessment and I said "I know". I thought I would handle it well (No emotions and all!) but when he went into where i had messed up and started giving me feedback, I suddenly had tears in my eyes. Area Visual Merchandiser had been a dream forever, I suddenly felt really small!
And then came the announcement. "Hey you've cleared and done well, I was just pulling your leg. Ain't I a gr8 actor?" It took 2 mins for me to let the news sink in. He smiled and said "Yes you have become the Area Visual Merchandiser, congratulations!"
I walked out of the office all numb, didn't know how to feel...? I had gone through such exageratingly opposite emotions in less than 5 mins my heart was not sure what it was feeling... My emotions wer askew. I walked to my colleagues and they all screamed "Congratulations". I was like how did you guys know? and they said they blackmailed the HR to tell them.
I was still numb, went into the rest room for 5 mins and realised just how close I had been to not getting the promotion. Malik (God) had been kind yet again. It was just his mercy that made me get the promotion.
And rest as they say is history... I immediately called Umang, Alakh, Papa, Shikha, My in-laws, Kiran and congratulations and wishes has been pouring since...!! It was as if doors of heaven have opened and decided to shine upon me...

Anyway this is Astuti Bajaj Bhatnagar, Area Visual Merchandiser, signing off... :P

Chennai Aha...!

Ther's no place like home and Chennai is and will always be home! Man do I lurve the city... The smell of the wet earth ('coz it's raining or shud I say pouring), the socialising that happens over morning walks, or simply the family catching up over freshly brewed filter coffee and Newspaper- these are things that a Chennaite swears by everyday. I love the simple living that is so much a character of the city! You donno what you're missing if you haven't gone simple! Ther's simply no complications in bein simple.

Oh and I found the conservatism of the city endearing this time (though I swear while I lived ther I hated it!) People turn to look at you just because you wear leggings with a sleeveless 'T'. Any woman who's short of attention shud just manage to bare a little in Chennai and man-oh-man will all your attention-needs just flyby!

So what did I do in Chennai huh? Went for my final year exams in Mass Communication. Had four papers that I had not done an iota of studyin for... So will I pass these tests? The last one didn't go well, walked out half way and all! But as for the other three I sure hope so.

I caught up with my near and dear ones and loved every moment of it! Like I said b4 ther really is no place I lurve more... Chennai Aha!!!