Illusion of great friendship- an extract from real life!

Yeah! I know, seeing the heading must make you wonder if I am taking my job as a lecturer too seriously... :P It does look like that eh? But fear not, this is just an experience sharing- Mine, naturally!

While watching House MD yesterday, a dialogue I heard, struck a chord- "It's told we don't get to choose our parents, but I'm starting to believe we don't get to choose our friends either." Hmmm I naturally agree with the sentiment of this statement.

This last year, has been an odd one of sorts... While personally and professionally my life's going just about fine with no constantly-nagging-complains; where friends are concerned I have seen some really odd ups and downs. I say odd because I don't understand the behaviour logically. And to my amazement when I can't put behaviour into a set-pattern, it bothers me for long! (Reminds me of the jingle "Lasts long, really long :P") Anyway let me try and share what made these experiences odd-

A friend of mine, who talked to me regularly (almost daily) abruptly, just-like-that stopped talking to me. Naturally there were reasons given; but let's just say the heart didn't agree and was confused for a very long time. When we bump into each other now, its kinnda odd; I'm left wondering if all those conversations we had, that made us close have to be ignored or what exactly can I do to avoid the awkwardness?

Another close friend, found someone else "far-more important" to stay constantly in touch with, leading to "Sorry sweetie, I don't have time to talk" with me. A true friend, must say happy to see you happy, but it’s like that dialogue in 3 Idiots; "...Khud ke friend ko topper dekh ke aur bhi bura lagta hain!" I feel like screaming and saying "where's our time?" To be fair, I can't say we've lost touch completely; but it’s so far and wide, it almost feels like an exercise!

The safety of conversations, asking stupid questions; of voicing fears and soothing tears that I shared with these friends is now compromised. There’s a feeling of void created. Every time someone asks me "who are your closest friends?" their names are the first to pop up... but then I am left wondering "Are they really?"

Honestly am not so sure anymore. It’s sad that I'm completely confident, of the fact that these people- who knew every moment of my life and every thought in my head'; will now probably be the last people to hear, if something unexpectedly happens to me! I'm confident that they'll not even know for a month, if I say meet with an accident and die tomorrow.

Hey, its not all bad, I must say there are other friends, who were not-so-close before, and have become closer now. :) A lot of old friends from school have gotten in touch and there's never any lack of people to hang out with (:)); but its just that the heart still wonders... Do we really get to choose our friends or does destiny deal us cards that put people together and makes them friends? Also is “great friendship” just an illusion?

The optimist side in me, sure hopes not! :)