Numbness...!

I have been having this urge to write forever... write what you might ask? honestly i donno yet... ther are many topics that come to mind! my feelings about my Oh-so-awesome job!(yea i am being sarcy); the 20-20 match that we won(i decided against that one when i saw every1 had an opinion abt it!); the really nice Reliance ad(i'll write another blog about it, it's really cute); my VLCC regime(my new health mantra) or my never ending issues in life(no point even goin ther!)! but today i am in mood for something more general... I want to write about what keeps me ticking'! Ahaaa! that's a new one...!
At first ther was this urge to grow... the ambition to be someone important! this unspoken need to make a mark and have people look up to you...! then came the feeling of dissatisfaction... wer am i going? is this what i set up to do? is this all i'll ever do! why is life becomin more and more complicated wen all i want is some clear thinkin...! I am in the third stage now... have all the above feelings but ther's this numbness...I am completely numb or passionless, it's like sum1's squeezed it all out of me! the passion for my job, the feeling of excitement, the crave for doin sumthing new! man at 24 that's scary!!! But if i am honest i dont wanna take the trouble to do anything! i want gud things to happen 2 me (pssst! doesn't every1)... get a promotion; get all the health complications out; have a clear way to move ahead but without movin my oh-so-huge- butt(Hence the VLCC)..! without doing anything myself! Ahh this is wer god comes in, isn't it?Or are all the motivational quotes we hear not true? 'coz haven't we heard "n" number of motivating quotes whose sole intention is to make you feel better wen u r low? Who writes these motivating quotes i wonder... someone equally pissed with life(one has to feel it herself to get the feeling right nah!) but then aren't they being hypocrites..? i mean "i can feel this way but now i think u shudn't... and i am writing a quote so you dont feel it!" bahhhhhhhhh so hypocritical!
life is a bitch guys! and who ever says it isn't is either on a really high dope or hasn't yet opened her eyes to the real thing!
Now wasn't I goin 2 write about "What keeps me tickin...!" Topic for another day I guess...!