I have been trying to get a freelance cum consultancy business going. I decided to move into this a little before my baby doll comes into my life, so that I have more time to spare for her. But its not been an easy journey, though in all honesty, it started relatively easily... My mistake was I thought it'd be completely stress-free cum easy ride throughout but well like most things in my life, its not.
These last few weeks have been spent contemplating a name for this business. I have realized lots of shocking things about myself in this process. I'm naturally not happy with what I see inside and am trying to give myself a pep-talk or a "how-to-change-things? perspective" I realize that I give better advice to people I love and somehow I'm not doing a great job on myself.
Well, for one, I am not as independent as I think I am. At least not of the opinions of the people I love. I hate the fact that for most important decisions in my life, I always look at people around me, to tell me what's good for me. I don't doubt the fact that they love me and want what's best for me, but I am so dependent on their approval that I I no longer trust my own judgement. Questions such as should I do this? Can't be answered with a "Do you really want to do it?" Because I don't really know what I want... I seem to have stopped thinking and feeling for myself... I just let them guide me and choose for me... and go with the common consensus/ opinions. So naturally when I think something and they are not in sync with the idea, I have huge self-doubts and stress about "what if they are right...?" am I going to hear another of those "I told you sos...."
I also hate the fact that I have become a bit of a people-pleaser. I don't really have such a low opinion of myself that I'd do anything to be liked but I hate knowing the fact that there's this one woman or one man out there who hates the site of me. Naturally, I hate the fact that opinions matter so much to me but I don't know how to get myself out of this mess!
Oh yes I want to figure it out and get out of this as soon as I can... because one ends up getting more hurt and emotional this way and I choose not to live like that.
I have come to strongly believe, that what you feel about any movie is directly coordinated with how you feel when you go to watch the movie. :)
Say, if you're happy and in good company when you go watch a film, the movie seldom disappoints you and you concentrate on the good's rather than the bad's... While if you're already stressed and are having a tough day, no matter how good the film, it'll not impress you and you will concentrate on the bad's rather than the good's...! It also probably comes down to your upbringing and your core value systems... (getting too heavy huh? :P)
Well what can I say, I am a Punjabi who loves the naach-nachana; gaana-bajana and the loud shaadi-baarat scenes. So to me personally, the film had loads of moments, when I had a "wedding-in-the-family-experience". I could have happily joined them and danced and was grinning like mad, from ear to ear, on all the crass dialogues (especially of Deepak Dobriyal) that were borderline naughty.
Yes the movie had its predictable moments of DDLJ meets Jab we met.. But Hello! what did you expect when you decided to go watch a film named "Tanu weds Manu"? Sci-fi? Or real-life-story material??!! As you can see from the title, its a film about a rebellious-small town-girl Tanu who after lots of Mr. Wrongs decides to marry (aka wed) a Nice-NRI- doctor Manu.
I did feel the first half was much lighter and filled with ROFL moments than the second half. But hey they were making a movie not a comedy show right? It needs to have it treatments... :) Well by far, I came out of the film smiling and remembering the brazen humor and dialogues the film had portrayed so well.
As for the cast, Madhavan was good in the charming, under-played Manu and Kangana went over the top a little in places. But considering this was her first single handed show, I forgave her far too easily for that. :) Deepak (Puppy ji) was a delight to watch and instrumental to a lot of those ROFL moments... Brilliant performance by a very talented actor.
I think the movie is light enough to go watch with family and has moments of tears-in-the-eye laughter that definitely makes it worth a dekho in my eyes. But to be honest, I must warn you, that I saw a movie alone with my bro dearest, after long; so I was in a great mood nevertheless. :)
I read this review, on Idiva after watching the film and it summed up the film for me pretty well. What I'd like to say is of somewhat similar nature, so I'm not going to repeat most of it. :) Want a decent review? Read it here:
http://idiva.com/reviews-entertainment/movie-review-7-khoon-maaf/3304
So what do I have to add eh? PC's acting in definitely mind blowing (in places). I won't be surprised if she bags an award or two for her role here. She has gorgeously played emotions that's a psyche of any normal woman! No woman is sweet or bitchy always. She is generally moody, highly ruled by emotions and a very complex creature. She can be passionate, a tool for jealousy, bitchy, vindictive and yet truly naive and sweet-natured. PC plays this brilliantly, almost to perfection.
There are a few dialogues in the film that were border-line too strong for Indian Men. :) Not something that'll go down easily I'm afraid! The sequence where PC's explaining to the gullible Vivaan that "There's no woman on earth, who at some point or the other, has not thought about ways to kill her husband!" is one such moment. It truly brings out one of the best possible performance of the lady in question and is easily the best scene in the movie.
The director also captures the cardinal sins of the beaus in a very believable manner. Love the way, the concentration is never on the men; but on the disappointment PC faces in each of her relations. Its completely women-centric and a raw-un-edited look into her psyche! Are men really ready for it, I wonder? :)
I'm afraid, the movie won't do well on the BO though; because it most definitely is not your usual scene! Men hate thinking, they can be disappointing as individuals to their wives, so there goes half the audience. Plus 'wife killing 6 guys she marries; in want of true love!' is most definitely not every woman's cup of tea. :) The movie is not unbearable, mind you; though I'm sure men might have a different take on it! :) Also the lovey-dovey couples will not go for it either! Its a disillusion that only creeps into a relation after oodles of reality checks.
The film is intense like most Vishal Bharadwaj movies generally are! So go see it, only if you have the detachment to leave your romance at home, and are ready to feel with her- her want of true love, her dis-illusions, her desperations, her pain! 'coz the film is almost like living another lifetime (that of a married woman).
