Me the Ultimate Pessimist!

One post in October... and no posts in November I know I haven't been around like forever! Have just had too many things to deal with, nothing to write about and hazaaron khwahishein aisi... but well excuses or no excuses I promise I'll try to be more regular now...

It's days like today when I have had my Happy pill that I agree with anyone saying "Life is sure worth living"! It's not too often that I'm in the mood for optimism. You see, for sometime now, I have been tagged as the "Ultimate Pessimist" by most people who know me! They love me too much to ever say it to my face, but I can see it in their eyes, in their worried look and oh-so-casual calls. They are worried that I might just catch the pessimistic fever forever, quite naturally; from the way I have been behaving.

I wait to add a "But" after I hear a good news or just wait for the other coin to drop when something good happens to me.... I don't smile as much, don't love as deeply or behave as madly! I am falling a second to what i used to be! And why i wonder...! It's not like something on the outside has changed. Nothing drastic has happened in my life to kill my joy or enthusiasm; Neither I nor anyone close to me (God forbid!) has really died or had a near death experience. But something seems amiss!

I am going through a period professionally that could not be called as anything but "happening"! The best of oppurtunities is coming my way. Personally I haven't fought with my hubby in a long time (quite a miracle in it's own making). My family is the most supportive and my friends are very attentive. But (and there always is a but) life isn't something I am looking forward to!

I mean No lands to conquer! No goals to Achieve!! No passions to Kinder!!! It's just a day that goes on and on without any special moments to remember! Ok the optimism seems to be deserting me... So I am going to try to add a pinch of happiness in my tone, I really am bored with being myself, so I truly feel sorry for the people who deal with me and my moods on a daily basis... I would love to be the person writing the post starting with...

"Dance as though no one is watching you.
Sing as though no one can hear you.
Love as though you have never been hurt before.
Live as though heaven in on earth!"

But for now I am signimg off as...

Yours truly,
"The Ultimate Pessimist"